Why I hate people with umbrellas.

First of all I live in Portland, Oregon in the great wet Northwest. People born and bred here don't use umbrellas or at least that's one of our many mottos. The truth is I know a lot of Portland natives who use umbrellas but most of us just opt for a hoodie if even that. In fact if you see someone with an umbrella 9 times out of 10 they ain't originally from here.

Now to my reasons why I hate people who use umbreallas...or maybe I should say I hate that they use umbrellas...or when they use umbrellas...point is it would be ridiculous of me to hate someone just because they use a specific type of tool! Or maybe I do actually hate them while they're carrying the umbrella....anyways enough of the philosophizin'

People who use umbrellas tend to be oblivious to everyone around them. They will poke you in the eye if you try to walk along side them. They will shake off their umbrella with no regard to who's around them getting anyone within radius soaked (much like a wet dog). And my favorite - they will HOG any available covering, such as sidewalk awnings, forcing everyone else out into the rain! You have a fucking umbrella asshole...walk in the goddamn rain and let me walk underneath the tiny little strip of covering that barely covers 3 inches of the sidewalk!

FuckYourUmbrella.com